While going through my things today, packing for the move to LA, I found my dog tags and beret, from when I served in the Army National Guard. For a brief moment, I wondered how well the beret would go over if i substituted the unit flash which is currently pinned to its front with an obvious GLBT symbol, like a pink triangle or a rainbow. Not well, was the answer that came instantly to mind. I’m certain more than one person would tell me I’m dishonoring the uniform. I’m certain I would be labelled a disgrace or some other term.
The reality of it is that I served honorably and to the fullest extent of my abilities, while at the same time in my life I was coming to terms with my sexual orientation. I was then unceremoniously removed from military service because I chose to forgo the lies and tell the truth about myself to those who I am supposed to trust with my life. I still get angry, and sad, about the fact that I can no longer serve in defense of my country in its armed forces, solely on the basis of who I love.
The command structure consistently defends the policies that allow them to throw away well-trained and capable soldiers. (By the way, you and I foot the bill for that; the military invests upwards of $35,000 per GLBT soldier they end up discharging.) They have their reasons for these policies, but they are rarely expounded upon, have NEVER been officially and impartially studied, and generally are based on flawed logic or known mistruths.
They say its a “morale issue.” This is the same argument, by the way, that they used against allowing women to join and allowing racial integration of the armed forces. The logic wasn’t valid then, and it certainly isn’t now. Sure there will be homophobic soldiers, just as there were racist and sexist soldiers before. The military survived those transitions, and the honorable men and women defending us now are no different, they will by-and-large be proud to fight alongside openly gay and bisexual Americans.
They say its a “sickness” or a “mental disorder”. Its been decades since the psychological health establishment in our country recognized that homosexuality is not and never was. The military and military health professionals have no treatment plan for soldiers who are “suffering” from chronic and incurable homosexuality, nor does the military health establishment disagree with the civillian medical community. For that matter, doctors in the military get their education from the same courses and at the same places civillian doctors do: public and private medical universities and medical schools.
So why the charade, despite the obviously flawed logic in the two main arguments in favor of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”? First, because preserving the ban on openly homosexual American citizens from serving caters to the prejudices of men (and a few women, too) in power who are uncomfortable with the idea of the ideals of freedom being applied to human sexuality. Second, because the ban appeals to men who are used to a man’s Army/Navy/Air Force/Marine Corps/Coast Guard, and the macho appeal that false ideal holds to them. (To those of you who hold that ideal, go jump off a cliff… I was the Guidon Bearer* for my Eagle Run** in basic training, so macho yourself up to that, thank you very much!) Third and finally, there are those to whom it is politically convenient to use my community and people like me as a wedge issue. As long as the public at large lets them get away with it, DADT will continue to be the policy by which the military determines the fate of GLBT soldiers.
*A Guidon Bearer holds the organizational unit’s (Company, Brigade, Battalion, etc…) guidon, which consists of its flag, attatched to a wooden pole about 7″ high, usually with a silver eagle on top and a silver cap on the tapered bottom end of the pole. A units various honors and awards may also be attatched to this pole, rendering the weight even greater. The guidon, as name implies, officially leads the formation, especially in official and/or ceremonial events (though not in battle anymore, as metal and bright colors defeat the purpose of camoflage). It should never be allowed to fall and the flag and awards should never, ever touch the ground. To be selected as Guidon Bearer is considered to be an honor and a sign of the respect of one’s superiors.
**The Eagle Run is a roughly 5-mile endurance run that is a necessary part of basic training. Because it is one of the major points in the training regimen, run will be in formation (at least at the start… inevitably there are those who still cannot keep up after weeks of training), and the guidon for each company involved will be present. At least, that’s the way it was at Fort Benning, back in 2000-2001.
Just kidding Mom, I know you love me!) Its time for me to seek out something new and move on with my life. The opportunities I have out in Los Angeles will help me with that. (And no, I’m not moving out with dreams of becoming a star… Not that I’d say no, mind you! Its just that writing novels and short stories is more up my alley.)